Tag: jessica r patch

MUST MEET MONDAY: LACIE NEZBETH

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch



If you could mix cotton candy, an apple, and glitter together, you’d get Lacie Nezbeth! She’s sweet, sparkly, fun and good for you! I’m so excited to have her today.


 Lacie Nezbeth is a stay-at-home mom with three young children. She spends her time running them all over town and loving it. Her love of books and history began when she read Little House on the Prairie as a young girl. Since then “the good ole days” have fascinated her and made her writing genre an easy choice! She loves to live “in the moment” with her family and enjoys traveling, shopping and baking decadent desserts…which doesn’t bode well for her shopping!

When did you get the writer’s bug? Has it always been something in you? Did you pen your first story with a jumbo crayon?
Nope. No jumbo crayon works of art for me. Although, I did write a short story in the 4th grade that I was pretty proud of. Got an A+ and everything but that’s as far as writing went for me as a child.
I first got the writer’s bug when I was pregnant with my first child, back in 2004. I was stuck at home a lot due to the constant retching that plagued me daily for my first trimester. Reading was the only thing that kept me from cursing motherhood altogether. One particularly rough morning, after I finished reading an especially frustrating book, I said, “I’m gonna write my own book. One without all those stupid problems that keep the heroine and hero apart for so darn long.” That tells you how much I knew about what I was getting into. J But the idea stuck and I’ve enjoyed learning more and more about how great books come to be.
We do ache to have them together quickly don’t we? It’s fun keeping them apart as the writer, though! Yum! Speaking of yum, do you snack while writing? If so, what do you munch on?
No. I’ve found that when the words are ready in my head, trying to eat and type at the same time just slows me down. Apparently, I’m not a very good multi-tasker. But when I’m stuck somewhere in my story, bring on the food! Something sweet and chocolatey…if I can find it.
Bake one of those decadent desserts, then call me over! What do you love most about writing? What do you find most challenging?
My favorite thing about writing is getting lost in my stories. For me (since I write historicals) it’s fun to imagine what it must have been like to live without all the modern conveniences that we all love. I’m constantly wondering if I would have survived. I like to think so.
Finding time to write or being consistent in my writing is the hardest thing for me. When I have 37 other things I know I need to do, I sometimes feel guilty taking the time for myself. And then there are those days when I’ve hit a road block in my story anyway, so those 37 other things can also look pretty good.
37 things? Really? That’s all? You need to be busier. 😉 How do you come up with story ideas?
This is one area where I don’t struggle at all. Thankfully!  A new idea will randomly sneak into my head…usually while I’m driving or researching. I keep a running list of book/plot ideas on Evernote. Some really need to be fleshed out and others are ready to go. I just can’t write fast enough.
I have tons of ideas while researching and driving too! We’re twins! If you could be one hero/heroine from a book who would you choose and why?
I would probably choose Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gables. She is so spunky and fun and imaginative. And she never lets anything stand in the way of her goals. Plus, who doesn’t want to use phrases like “kindred spirits” and “bosom buddies” without creeping people out? J
LOL! Yeah, bosom buddies is a tad frightening! If you could be one villain from a book who would you choose and why?
I’m using “villain” loosely here because personally, I don’t think she is one, but Scarlett O’Hara from Gone With the Wind would be my choice. Man, that woman had some nerve and determination like I’ve never seen. Her methods were a bit…let’s say…skewed. But her motivations of protecting her family and land were very noble.
She happens to be one of my favorite characters. I could go on and on, but “I’ll have to think about that another day.” (Hand over forehead as if I might pass out.) So, what are you currently working on? Tell us a little about it.
Prairie Breeze is a mail-order bride story gone terribly wrong. Victoria Sutton impulsively accepts an advertisement to marry Benjamin Black, who is headed west to Oregon Territory. Only Benjamin has no interest in marriage whatsoever and is clueless to the marital ad his well-meaning father placed in his name. When the two meet, naïve to the others’ identity, sparks fly. But not just the good kind.
Is there a question you’d like to ask everyone?
I love to shop! And I’m always curious where other ladies buy their clothes. So, share with me. Are you a designer diva or do you hunt for the sales? Where do you go most often when shopping for your clothes? J
I, personally, love to thrift shop and I find all sorts of divalicious designs for penny prices! Well that’s my two cents…get it…two cents…;) I’ll stop now.
You can connect with Lacie on twitter, facebook and her blog! You can…and you really should!

See you Wednesday!

Guest Blogger: Staci Stallings

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

Hey, everyone! It’s Friday! What a week! If you haven’t “liked” the new facebook devotional community, Living by Grace, scroll down in my side bar and join up! We have great discussions and we bond through faith. How cool is that? Also, if you haven’t “liked” my writer page, be a love and find me in the sidebar and Voila! I’m liked! 🙂 (I had the wrong thing on there before, oy!)


 Today, I’d like to welcome Staci Stallings to my blog. Say hey, everyone! Staci is the author of the book The Price of Silence.

Take it away, Staci, and thanks for blogging here today!

Forgiving is Hard

One of the most difficult things about being a mom is walking your children through life’s really tough lessons.  You can be floating along just fine, never even seeing the storm clouds gathering, when suddenly you’re caught in a maelstrom.
That’s what happened the other day with my son.  Now he’s eight and very soft-hearted.  He makes it a point to be nice to everyone (other than, of course, his two sisters).  He takes things in very deeply.  No surface living for him!
He’s also highly creative and he wants to be acknowledged for the good ideas he comes up with.  Sometimes that’s a challenge in second grade.  Okay, it doesn’t get any easier after second grade either, but we’ll deal with that later.
So the other day he gets in the van after school.  I asked how his day was, and he said, “Bad.”  Now he has “April Fooled” me numerous times coming back with “not really it was great!”  But not this time.  No, this time, bad went from bad to really bad to absolutely horrible in a matter of a heartbeat.
“Mom, Anna* stole my idea!” (*not her real name)
“What do you mean she stole your idea?”
“I had this idea to make a big card for one of the teachers from the whole class, and she stole my idea.  She told the teacher about it, and the teacher was all happy and excited and saying what a good kid she was.  It wasn’t her idea!  It was MINE!”
By now big crocodile tears were rolling down his little cheeks.
“Well, maybe she didn’t mean to steal it.  Maybe she just thought it was a good idea.”
“Then why didn’t she say it was mine.  She just let them think it was hers.”  He folded his arms.  “I’m not going to sign that big card.  It’s not fair!  I’m going to just make my own and see how they like that.”
“Now, sweetheart, I realize you’re upset…”
“And next time I’m going to steal one of her ideas and not tell anybody it was hers.  Then she can see how this feels.  I bet she won’t like it very much.”
You really can’t make this stuff up, you know?
“Listen, I don’t know why she did it, but think about it this way, the teacher really liked your idea even if she was the one that said it.”
“Yeah, but they think it was hers, and they’re all, ‘Oh, that’s such a great idea.  You’re so smart.’  I bet she’d be mad too if I took her idea like that and didn’t tell anybody. I’m going to do that to her and see how she likes it.”
That’s when I realized he was really going to need some help getting through this.  It wasn’t just a thing he was going to get through.  He wouldn’t forget it in five minutes.  This was real to him.  He was angry and hurt, and carrying that around wasn’t going to do anyone any good.
So, I said, “I think you’re going to have to try to forgive her.”
“Forgive her?  Mom!  She doesn’t deserve to be forgiven!  Besides I want to get even with her.  I want her to feel like I do right now.”
“I know, but that’s not good for you.  That is just going to make you mad and miserable.  It’s not going to change what happened at school.”
“But it’s not fair, Mom.  That was my idea and no one even knows that!”
“I know, and I don’t know why she took your idea without telling anyone.  Maybe she just thought it was a good idea and mentioned it.  Maybe she didn’t mean to steal it, it just happened.”
“Well, I’m still mad at her.”
“I know.  But I think maybe you should think about trying to forgive her–even if she doesn’t deserve it.  You know, we’ve talked about forgiveness at home.  When you say you’re sorry or they say they’re sorry.”
“But she didn’t even say she was sorry.  I don’t even think she is.”
“You’re probably right, maybe she isn’t even sorry, but that doesn’t mean you can stay mad.  It’s still important to forgive her… for you.”
“But, Mom.  Forgiving is hard!  I don’t want to forgive her.  I want to be mad at her.”
“I know.  Forgiving is hard.  That’s why a lot of the time we have to ask God to help us to forgive because if it was up to us, we’d just stay mad all the time.  But that doesn’t fix anything.  It just makes us sad and mad and hurt.  That’s no fun.  But God will help you to forgive her even though it’s hard.”
About this time the tears stopped, and I could see peace come over him.
“Just think about it,” I said.
You know, forgiving is hard.  And the worse whatever the other person did, the harder it is to forgive.  But when it’s right and you know it’s right but it’s hard, that’s when you know you need God.  God is there to help you and guide you through those rough patches when you really don’t want to do the right thing, when doing the wrong thing sure sounds easier and more logical.
But God’s logical will help you find real peace.  The other is just a long road of misery.
By the time we got home that night, my son was in much better spirits and the next day he not only signed the big card, he included his little card with it.  So maybe he learned a good lesson.  I know I did.
Thanks, Staci! I’ve learned many lessons from my kids. I’m thankful He’s there to guide me through things I don’t really want to do. When I obey, the peace truly is sweet!

Although Staci lives in Amarillo, Texas and her main career right now is her family, she touches the lives of people across the globe every week with her various Internet endeavors including:

Books In Print, Kindle, & FREE on Spirit Light Works:

Spirit Light Books–The Blog

And… Staci’s website  Go visit!

Connect with her on Twitter


Have a great weekend, everyone! Leave a comment for Staci if you would be so kind…and I know you are! 🙂


On Monday, come back to meet my special friend, writer Lacie Nezbeth!

A Ride to Endless Possibilities

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch
 

Hello, everyone! So glad you’re here! Let’s jump in and I hope and pray you’ll be encouraged today! And don’t forget we’re talking about endless possiblities over at Living by Grace, on facebook! You can be a part by clicking the Living by Grace “like” button on the sidebar!

I’m still studying Joshua. A fascinating book, really. Like all the books of the Bible. Full of treasure. Everything that makes a wonderful book–only all true!  Today’s text is found in Joshua 22:5.  “…hold fast to Him…” This small phrase is going to lead us somewhere else!

What does it mean to “hold fast,” and how do you do it?

 

In the KJV, instead of the words “hold fast,” it uses the word “cleave.” “Cleave” in Hebrew is “dabaq” and it means, “to cling, to join, stay close to, to stick with.”
 
In Genesis 2:23-25, God joins Adam and Eve. “to be joined to his wife” is the same word used here in Joshua. Marriage is a union of two people– making a covenant to join together, to stick closely, cling to each other—for better or worse, in good times and bad, in sickness and health, richer or poorer. No matter what.
 
This is how God feels about us. When we accept Jesus as our Savior we enter into a covenant with Him. We join ourselves. We hold fast—cleave—stay close. Hosea 2:16 is an example of God seeing us as His bride. An unfaithful bride that has ran after other lovers. Anything or anyone you put before God is another lover. Because you’re joined to God. But He’s a loving husband. Always wooing us back to Him.
 
In Matthew 9:15, Jesus refers to Himself as the Bridegroom. His love for us…sacrificial.
 
Song of Solomon 8:5 says, “Who is this coming up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved?…”

Song of Solomon is a beautiful picture of how the Lord loves us. The imagery is captivating, the story breathless from beginning to end. It’s my favorite book. A book that tells of a bride who must learn complete surrender to her lover husband. A husband who desires a bride who will go with him wherever he asks her to go, even if she’s frightened or insecure. To him, she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on. He wants to show her a whole new world. It just so happens to take place in a wilderness.

 
Imagine a wilderness. A wild, uninhabited, and uncultivated land.
 
I see it as dry; every breath zaps the moisture from your tongue and the grit from the sand scratches at your throat. Parched. Barren of anything lush or green. The heat leaves your clothing clinging to you until the sun scorches even the moisture of sweat away, and then it’s just a stiff feeling, like hanging clothes out and not using any fabric softeners.
 
There are no sheltering trees for shade, no fruit trees to quench thirst or hunger. Scorpions, lizards, and snakes slither and prowl around. Hungry coyotes watch from the rocky mountains…waiting… Vultures swarm overhead
 
A dangerous place.

But not for the bride when she’s with the Bridegroom—her Beloved. He makes streams in the desert, waters that gush in the wilderness. She won’t become thirsty and there’s enough to share with others.

 
Will you go with Him? Will you step out of your comfort zone and let Him show you things you cannot even imagine? Glorious things. A diamond sky. Don’t you dare close your eyes!
 
You can trust Him.
 
Surrender. You can say yes. You can go deeper.
Not only does she come out of the wilderness, but she comes out safely—closer to her Beloved than ever before. Leaning on Him for strength. He’s protected her from the elements, the dangers, and from her own doubt.
 
Love is stronger than it ever was before she went into the wilderness. After the time there, she says in verses 6-7, “Set me as a seal upon your heart, upon your arm…for love is as strong as death…”
His love is stronger than death…stronger than hell…stronger than the grave. He hurdled mountains and skipped hills for you–the huge problems and yes, even the small things because He cares about them all. He wants to show you intimacy like you’ve never experienced before. A whole new world.

 Now watch the video, but this time…put yourself in Jasmine’s place and see Aladdin as Jesus. Stretch your imagination and see what God shows you!

Also take note of what he sings to her and what she sings back. And an interesting part, notice where she is when she says, “I can’t go back to where I used to be.” (She’s in Egypt–which symbolizes bondage!)

 
 

GREAT NEWS Kutless Style & Tips For Writing Conferences!!!

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

In 2004, I wrote my first novel. I wrote it under a pen name and I didn’t write it for the glory of God. 


Everybody falls sometimes, Gotta find the strength to rise, out of the ashes and make a new beginning.

In August of 2008, I had a conversation with God and I started writing again. I finished my first novel, under my name, for the glory of God, in December 2008. I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I had never read a blog or a craft book. I read it for typos, but that’s about all. 

So, I decided to put it on Christian Manuscript submissions. While it sat there, I wrote another novel, and another and then I put a new one on the same site. During that six months, I wrote a few more. 

In March of 2010, I wrote a new novel and submitted it in the Operation First Novel contest. I didn’t semi-final.


I made a decision to fly to Denver for the Writing for the Soul conference anyway. My husband is my rock. (Yeah, Jesus is, but you know what I mean) We were going to go together. I’m terrified of new places and going into unfamiliar territory alone. Not just apprehensive, terrified–but hubby was going. 

Until he wasn’t. “Jess, I can’t go. I’m swamped at work (not just busy but lots of stuff).” His face expressed concern. He knows I depend on him to get me places. 

Anyone can feel the ache, You think it’s more than you can take. But you’re stronger, stronger than you know. 


“Okay, I can do this.”
He smiled and put his hand on my knee. “I’ll take care of it.” 
A few days later, he booked a direct flight so I wouldn’t have to worry about layovers and he made sure I knew about the shuttle counter and how to get a ticket. 

In February 2011, I got on a plane in Memphis, alone. Except, I wasn’t.

“You’re crossing your Jordan, Jess. Just you and Me,” God whispered. 


I cried on the plane. I was flying towards my promise. I had taken the step of faith. I looked out the windows. I was doing this. Me! Little ole’ me. And Big Ole’ God.

Don’t you give up now, the sun will soon be shining, You gotta face the clouds, to find the silver lining.


I landed in Denver airport and met up with one of my Critique partners I’d made online during the few months before the contest. Where was she before I entered? 

 I had spent a lot of time in prayer. I read the blogs and articles about how hard it was to break out into the publishing world. But I had a God-given dream. I had to decide to persevere, when my heart failed, when my mind said NO WAY, when I thought about who I was–a nobody from a small town, when I cried alone at the thought of pitching to an agent or editor, when I needed the money to get to the conference. When I looked at all the reasons why this was ridiculous.

I kept writing. I kept believing. I had to.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard, impossible is not a word. It’s just a reason, for someone not to try. Everybody’s scared to death, when they decide to take that step…out on the water, it’ll be alright.


I didn’t know what to expect. But I’d prayed and believed as I searched the available agents and editors attending the conference that God would guide me to the right ones. Maybe nothing would happen at that moment, but for the future. “God, who is right for me? I don’t want to pitch to everyone. I don’t want to scramble and rush. I want the right ones. For me. That’s my prayer. Have Your way.” TIP: Be prayerful about pitching and querying.

That night we had the chance to sign up for 3 appointments, a mentor appt, and a coaching appt. “Lord, I believe you’ve led me to these 3 people. I’m praying I get a slot.”

I signed up for mentoring, then I signed up for the coaching and then I got all 3 of my prayerful picks. One publisher, one editor, one agent.

My mentoring came first. Praise God! She smiled, took my writing, asked me to give my pitch, then looked at what I wrote. “This is good writing.  I think your story starts in Chapter 2.”

“Should I not pitch?”

“No! Pitch it. It’s good. Let an editor decide that. You’re going to be great. Your pitch is perfect. Can I pray with you?” 

Later that day, I sat in on a 15 minute coaching session. I slouch. I know. It was a great coaching session. Talk slower, relax. You’ll be fine. Sounds like a neat story.

I pitched to the publisher first. She asked me what my story was about and had I written any other ones. I told her. “I like the story, but we do more missional novels. I’m interested in what others say, if you get a chance tonight, come find me and let me know how it went. Can I pray for you?” Tip: Editors, Publishers, and Agents are people. Relax. Easier said than done, I know. But they really do want the best for you!

Life is so much more, than what your eyes are seeing, you will find your way, if you keep believing.


I pitched to an editor next. I was intimidated, but she smiled and asked me some questions. Hard ones. She asked me, (TIP:) “Why did you write the book?” “Why do you think this book should be published?” I had answers. My first funny one was, “I’m pitching this one because it isn’t my first book.” We laughed. Then I told her the real reason why. She asked for a partial. 

And then, it was time to pitch to THE AGENT. The ONE. I walked in and shook her hand and introduced myself. “I know your name. Do you follow our blog?” TIP: Comment on agent blogs and be sincere.

“Yes, I do.” And then my nerves got me, but I gave her my elevator pitch.

“You know I’m going to need more than that now.” She grinned. TIP: Be able to explain your book further than one hook-pitch clearly and quickly.

She asked me a few questions, her eyebrows raised. I totally thought I was tanking it. I could answer her questions at least. She nodded. “It sounds like something I’d be interested in, but I won’t know unless I read it. Send me a full.”

WHAT? 

I left, went straight to my hotel room, crumpled into a heap and bawled. A partial and a full. It was hope. It wasn’t a contract, but it was hope. Slim. But hope.

I’ve seen dreams that moves the mountains, hope that doesn’t ever end even when the sky is falling. I’ve seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new…


that’s what faith can do…overcome the odds, when you don’t have a chance, when the world says you can’t


It’ll tell you that you can!


I sent the requested material March of 2011. The second week of June I received an email from the agent. She enjoyed the story and felt it was almost ready for representation. She made a list of a few areas that needed revised.

1. Too many POVs, I cut out 3 because she was right, they were there for convenience.
2. Too many switches in POVs per scene. “Could you keep it 2 POVs per chapter?”
3. Typos. “Could you polish it up a bit?”

YES! I’ll do all of it. I printed out the ms and prayed. Please help me to do this, Lord. After I tackled the big issues, I went through and polished it. Then I sent it to my critique partners. They all caught something! They were life lines. TIP: Get critique partners you trust and polish your ms before sending.

On June 8th, 2011, I sent my revisions. August came and I read a blog by another agent saying after a couple months it’s ok to send a nudge and see if the agent has received the material. So I did. I sent an email asking if she had received what I sent.

I got a reply. Yes, she had and she was half-way through it, with an apology for taking so long. How sweet was she? Okay, that’s better than I’m half-way through and not reading any more. I can wait. I can do this.

On September 9th, I received an email with a date to discuss representation! That call came this past Wednesday. I had a great conversation, we’re on the same page, and we’re excited about what’s to come!

Me signing my contract!

I am honored to be represented by Rachel Kent of Books & Such Literary Agency!   


If you’re writing or whatever your dream is– keep believing, keep dreaming, keep moving forward. Have faith.


Even if you fall sometimes, you will have the strength to rise.





Top 5 Ways I Warped My Little Brother

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

Okay, First of all, I had a friend bring to my attention that I had not set up my facebook writer page button correctly on my sidebar. So if you clicked it, you like facebook platform! Oy, so now it’s fixed! If you want to take a second and “like” me, I’d love for you to! And you’ll really and truly be liking ME! 


On with the show this is it!


My brother and I are 2 years apart, me being the oldest…wisest…smartest…the list goes on.

Here are the top 5 things I did to warp him. Not that he needed any help from me, but, I’d like to say I contributed something in his life. (My older sister helped with #5.) 


So without further ado…


5. Ignored him and called it “shining.” He would holler, “Mom, Jessica and Celeste are shining on me.” Since my mom had no idea what that was, we never got in trouble. Most nights he went to bed crying. Yeah, yeah, boo hoo.

4. When Mom and Dad were gone, I’d throw steak knives at his door so he wouldn’t come out. He still tells on me for that, twenty years later. I like to call that, overkill.

3. Left him in the road half dead when our psycho Doberman ran out in front of him on his bike. He flipped head over the handle bars. I was too busy laughing hysterically in the yard with the neighbor. He survived. Barely. He had a concussion. I might’ve peed a little.

2. To get out of washing dishes, because the psycho Doberman ate the dishwasher, no it did, I would holler, cry, and yell at  him, (he was drying) to stop hitting me. My mom would scream, “Jared! Knock it off!” He would plead, “I’m not doing it! She’s lying.” Why would I make that up? 😉 And then, my dad would make him wash and dry. Alone.  I could only get away with this about once a week to keep it believable.

And the #1 way I warped my brother…

1. I dressed him up in Holly Hobby nightgowns, painted his nails, and made him have tea parties. We have pictures as proof.

Love you, Bro! No, really. I do.

What mean things did you do to your sibling/s? Have a great weekend!


Oh yeah, if you haven’t visited Living by Grace–an online devotional community–please click here and join in! (or click the “like” in the sidebar)


AND… I have some BIG BIG BIG news! Coming Soon!

Who Doesn’t Get Thirsty?

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

I hope everyone had a great holiday! Cookouts, staying in jammies longer, poolside. Fall is on the way. No more white shoes or pants. Black’s more slimming anyway.

So let me ask  you a question.
What does living by grace mean to you? 
For me, it means walking each day knowing I am weak, but He is strong. I get tired, He never does. I stumble, He holds me up. I make mistakes, He’s perfect.
 So many things pour into me every day. Responsibilities of being a wife, mother, employee, a writer, a woman (if you’re a woman you know what I’m saying). I wear many hats. I love each one. I love each responsibility, but they can all wear me out.
I need my thirsty soul, quenched. I need saturated with His love, with the washing of the water of His Word. I can’t be good at any of the things above, if I don’t first fill myself up with Him.
Can anyone relate?
And because I’m a woman, I like to share. Women love to share, don’t they? My husband is amazed at some of the things I’m willing to divulge to my girlfriends. I love it when a bunch of us get together and talk about life and most importantly the foundation of life. Jesus Christ.
It renews me, encourages me, revs me up, and gives me hope. We bond through friendship and faith. We care for each other, pray for each other, laugh together. It’s a wonderful experience, especially when coffee and chocolate are involved!
“…A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12
Doesn’t this sense of belonging, renewal, and friendship sound wonderful? Wish you could have it on a daily basis?
You can.
I’m honored to be partnering with some incredible women of faith who want to live by grace, together. We want a sense of community and camaraderie with other women. On September 12th, we’ll be launching a devotional facebook community. Living By Grace. We want to invite you to come by and let your souls be quenched, your minds and hearts challenged. Each day an amazing woman will bring the word through a devotional and feel free to mingle, chat, ask questions, and just have a good time.
We’re building bonds of sisterhood through faith and facebook! Come and join us.
“Like” our page by clicking the button on my sidebar and grab our button for your blog if you’d like!

I’m honored to be working with such talented writers. They all have wonderful personal blogs. You can find them by clicking on their names below.
Lynda Schultz
Joanne Sher
Jennifer Slattery
Maria Morgan
Patty Wysong

Top 5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Let Your Child Watch Spongebob

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

Ready? Here’s why you shouldn’t let your child watch Spongebob Squarepants based on experiences with my son…um..yeah.

5. His laugh is hideous. And your kids might try to copy it.

4.  Your child might want a pet squirrel named Sandy. He might ask over…and over…and over…and over…He might set traps in the backyard, a yard that has ZERO trees. He might beg you every time you pass a pet store, even though you’ve told him a billion times, they don’t. sell. squirrels.

3. When he watches the episode where Spongebob curses, and a dolphin voice is the censor, he might ask, “Which bad words is he saying?”
“It doesn’t matter. You don’t know any bad words.”
“Tell them all to me, then.”
“No.”
And then he might beg and plead and when you finally end it, he just makes dolphin noises instead. How will you discipline a kid for cussing in dolphin?
2. He might bend over in public and grab his behind, then say, “I ripped my pants.” A lot. A whole lot. And then refer to #5.
1. And the #1 reason you should not let your child watch Spongebob, he might say to you, “I want your booty.”
“What?” you’ll ask in total shock.
He might look at you as if you’re crazy and say, “I want your booty. You know…booty? Treasure?”
And you never know who else he’ll say that to.
Badamp bamp ching! Have a great weekend, watch whatever you want!

3 Ways to Respond to Detours in Life

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

Okay, so some of you may have clicked on Dawn Alexander’s link yesterday and found someone else’s journey story. Yeah, I got my days wrong. I’m not telling my story until September. But she has a great blog, huh? I hope if you went, you followed. How’d you like that little detour?

And one other thing, how does Weight Watchers make their blueberry muffins so delish and moist at only 5 points? 

Okay, on with the show, this is it.

MONDAY morning, we headed for school.

We hopped in our mini-van and cruised the same route we take every morning. I turned right by City Hall, made the 4-way stop, and BAM!
DETOUR!
 I slowed down. Myles asked, “What’s going on?”
“Detour.”
“Are you going to get lost on this one?”
I ignored his above average sarcasm for a 7 year old. “No.” Please don’t let me get lost…again.
I turned right, and crept ahead. I came off auto-pilot and paid attention. Nervous and unsure, as I wound around streets and curves, hoping I’d get them to school on time and not end up somewhere unsafe. I saw the end of the Detour ahead, not far, I waited patiently to get out on the main road leading to school. Phew! We made it.
TUESDAY morning, we left later than usual, rushed and irritated. Maybe I broke up a fight or two over their shared sink. Mental note: When we move, kids must have separate bathrooms. Not because they’re spoiled, but I need morning sanity to last longer than the hour I spend with Jesus before they get up.
We took off on our normal route.
BAM! I forgot. Detour. 
I was not apprehensive or worried about where I was. I was in a rotten mood, a million things going on in my head. My internet was down. Imagine the anxiety. I growled, literally, when I saw the sign.
I whipped the wheel to the right and muttered under my breath, griping at drivers. I sat impatiently while traffic didn’t help me by making a space for me to pull onto the main road. I may have honked and shook a fist at a teenager or two. Possibly a senior adult driving Miss Daisy.
We arrived on time. But I was angry.

The Lord blew the clouds of aggravation away with His voice and reminded me of the day before and the moment we were in at the same time. Then He spoke to me about the way I handle detours and the way I should handle them.

1.                                           

Don’t be afraid of detours
  D
“I put what you like to call detours in your life to make you slow down, wake-up, and pay attention. I know you get scared. I know it makes you nervous.” I felt the nudge to look up. The sky was incredible, the colors of a baby shower. “You think I can’t control where you’re going, when I can make this? Don’t be afraid.”
2.    
Don’t be angry at detours
“You think being angry and impatient with others will get you there any sooner? It won’t. It’ll only delay you. Do you think those drivers saw you as loving, gentle person, while trying to plow them over and shaking angry fists? Did your children see an example of how to respond to an unannounced twist? Why are you in such a hurry anyway?” His tenderness didn’t sear me with conviction, but wooed me to repentance.
3.    
Expect detours, plan for them

“You haven’t failed. It’s not too late to be a better example to others, to your children. It may be there tomorrow. It may not. But it won’t be the last one. You’ll get your chance to do it right. Plan for it. Expect it. You won’t be alone.”

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory…” 2 Corinthians 4:16-17
How do you handle detours in your life?