Top 5 Ways I Warped My Little Brother

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My brother and I are 2 years apart, me being the oldest…wisest…smartest…the list goes on.

Here are the top 5 things I did to warp him. Not that he needed any help from me, but, I’d like to say I contributed something in his life. (My older sister helped with #5.) 

So without further ado…

5. Ignored him and called it “shining.” He would holler, “Mom, Jessica and Celeste are shining on me.” Since my mom had no idea what that was, we never got in trouble. Most nights he went to bed crying. Yeah, yeah, boo hoo.

4. When Mom and Dad were gone, I’d throw steak knives at his door so he wouldn’t come out. He still tells on me for that, twenty years later. I like to call that, overkill.

3. Left him in the road half dead when our psycho Doberman ran out in front of him on his bike. He flipped head over the handle bars. I was too busy laughing hysterically in the yard with the neighbor. He survived. Barely. He had a concussion. I might’ve peed a little.

2. To get out of washing dishes, because the psycho Doberman ate the dishwasher, no it did, I would holler, cry, and yell at  him, (he was drying) to stop hitting me. My mom would scream, “Jared! Knock it off!” He would plead, “I’m not doing it! She’s lying.” Why would I make that up? 😉 And then, my dad would make him wash and dry. Alone.  I could only get away with this about once a week to keep it believable.

And the #1 way I warped my brother…

1. I dressed him up in Holly Hobby nightgowns, painted his nails, and made him have tea parties. We have pictures as proof.

Love you, Bro! No, really. I do.

What mean things did you do to your sibling/s? Have a great weekend!

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