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There’s no turning back!

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

I was sharing with a friend of mine about a leadership retreat that I had to go on as the Academy Director for a Corporate Childcare center I worked for. I had to go alone. I knew no one and I was terrified with no way out of going!

I made it. I didn’t miss any of my connecting flights (which had me in a small state of panic) and I arrived in beautiful Colorado–in January and in one piece.

We had to do many outdoor excercises as well as indoor lectures. One in particular stood out and it was this one I shared with my friend (right before Phil Wickham and Mercy Me took it away at a concert!).

Our facilitators took us out on a bus to the middle of nowhere, blind folded us and then put helmets on us! What? Why do I need a helmet? Now, for all the southerners let me just tell you about the three feet of snow and air so cold that tiny icicles hung from your nose hairs! (eew I know but you need to understand this)

They guided us, blindly, and then put our gloved hands on a rope. In a whisper they said, “Now go.”
That was it!? Go where? I don’t even know where I am! My thoughts raced but then I realized–I may not know where I’m going, but I know I’m ultimately safe and I slowly began my adventure to somewhere.

I could hear women crunching snow all around me and then I heard a woman sobbing. I remember thinking, how could she be this afraid? We’re safe. But she was terrified.

Then I came to a point where one rope crossed over another and then another and another!

Decision time.

Do I change course? Do I keep hanging on to what was placed in my hands? I didn’t know if it was a timed excercise or not. But instinct told me…I don’t have forever. Keep moving. Go! I held fast to the rope that had been placed in my hands and I followed it…until it came to a dead end.

I could feel the tree right in front of me. I could hear water running nearby and I could still hear the woman– weeping in the distance. Now what? Do I go back?

I stayed. I sat down in the freezing cold, in the bank of snow and I sat silently as women scrambled around, bumped into one another and some even giggled and laughed…and the one woman never stopped sobbing.

It was then that I felt my own tears run down my cheeks.  I realized that God had given me the free gift of salvation…a helmet… and in my hand was destiny, purpose, a plan. A race to run. A place to go. And I went. Where it would end…a mystery.

I was unsure, but ultimately–I was safe. And the woman weeping made my heart cry. She felt alone. Afraid. She didn’t realize that she was safe. She was being watched by someone who could see the course laid out. Someone who wouldn’t let her fall into that abyss.

I learned a lot about myself and my faith in that simple excercise. I learned to keep going until the very end. There is no stopping.

Take the plan of God for your life and go…go…go. Go blindly. You’re protected! Ultimately, you are safe!  At the end, the blindfold comes off and all the things you couldn’t see becomes clear.

I couldn’t help that sobbing woman who was afraid during that excercise, but in the kingdom race I know that I can! So can you!

Give me just a little dirt…please?

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

One thing I admire most in a leader is transparency. I think what this world is looking for is something “real.” It’s a compliment that I value most. I think it’s one reason that my husband and I are successful in our ministry to young adults. My husband’s favorite thing to say is, “I’m not telling you this because I’ve always done it right; it’s because I’ve done it wrong–a lot.”

It’s important for people to know, as leaders, that we make mistakes. We struggle and oh dear heavens, we sin! This is the place you should gasp and throw your hands over your wide open mouths as you go into shock! What? Leaders sin? Shepherds make mistakes? Shutup!! Yes, yes it’s hard to believe, I know…I know–but it’s true. Any leader who tells you differently struggles with LYING!

There’s a well known female figure that shares her past before Jesus and it’s marred and messed up for sure. But now that she’s saved, you never hear her EVER tell about struggling with anger issues, balancing her time etc…it’s as if she’s miraculously zapped into a perfect person. When she does share about things “us flock” get bound by, she uses other people’s examples or her past before Jesus, but what about slip ups she makes now? Doesn’t she have any? Uh…yeah…I’m pretty sure she does.

But baby Christians, or really naive ones will surely think she has it all together and when they can’t seem to pull it together for themselves, it can be very depressing! “Well Miss So and So doesn’t ever seem to have a problem now that she’s saved…she’s preaching to millions and writing books and blah blah blah…what’s wrong with me!?”

Nothing is wrong with you. She doesn’t have it all together. You don’t have to–you can’t! Imperfect people do great things for God. There is no perfect, all together person! I promise you!

Now, there’s another very public female person who is just the opposite. She’s transparent about still messing up, never having it together and struggling–without dishing all the dirt, just some! I’m not saying we should tell the world every evil thought we have, just let those we minister to know that we aren’t perfect. We sin. And yes, even use some examples of mess ups.

It’s all too easy to think we should keep our imperfect lives from those we minister to and lead. By sharing that we actually do argue with our spouse on occasion over ridiculous things, we do lose our cool and yes…holler at our kids, we do think a four letter word when a jerk cuts us off and maybe, just maybe even let it slip out of our mouths, is okay to share when relevant to something we’re teaching (you don’t have to actually tell them the word :)). It doesn’t make us less credible, it makes those listening appreciate the fact that regardless–God still wants to use us and that means that God wants to use them as well.

Never letting those you lead know you’re as big of a chump as the next guy/gal, can even breed pride.

One of my favorite men, other than Jesus—duh you guys do I even have to say that?….is Peter. Peter’s letters were inspired by God but full of “I’m telling you this not because I did it right but because I did it WRONG,” messages. Read for yourself and think back over his time spent with Jesus.

“Be sober, be vigilant; because[a] your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.  Resist him, steadfast in the faith…” 1 Peter 5:8-9

Penned with Divine inspiration…said out of experience. Let’s go back…

 “Then they came to a place which was named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” 33 And He took Peter, James, and John with Him, and He began to be troubled and deeply distressed. 34 Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch.”
35 He went a little farther, and fell on the ground, and prayed that if it were possible, the hour might pass from Him. 36 And He said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will.”
37 Then He came and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “Simon, are you sleeping? Could you not watch one hour? 38 Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
39 Again He went away and prayed, and spoke the same words. 40 And when He returned, He found them asleep again, for their eyes were heavy; and they did not know what to answer Him.
41 Then He came the third time and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? It is enough! The hour has come…” Mark 14:32-41

I think Peter learned his lesson to stay awake…be sober…be vigilant…why? Let’s go back even further…

“Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail…” Luke 22:31

Peter knew well what Satan wanted…to kill steal and destroy. Why? Because he’d made the attempts on him. But Jesus prayed for him that when he returned to him (Jesus knew Peter was going to mess up…key word-return…He loved him and wanted him anyway) he would strengthen the others. Peter would be a leader and he was a schmuck! Peter still messed up on occassion, I believe Paul called him out! Paul…hahaha a whole other story!

Who knew best to stay awake, pay attention, be watchful than a man who didn’t (even though he’d been forwearned) and made a huge mistake of denying Christ three times.

Leaders, it is okay to share your mess ups and mistakes with those you’ve been entrusted to guide without giving super intimate details, unless of course you feel led to.

Those of you sitting under someone, they’re schmucks like Peter… all of us are! 🙂 Don’t put them on a pedastal or when they fall (and they will) it will devastate you and you might even grow bitter. Don’t be naive. Pray for your leaders. Understand they aren’t perfect. They have a big responsibility! Expect mistakes out of them!

What about you? What do you think? What would you like to see more out your leaders?

Moment with Myles: That car is jacked!

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

I pulled into the car lane like I do every day to pick Bailey up from school. Myles sat in the back rambling about sleepovers and why he couldn’t EVER go anywhere. He’s six…seriously?!

He browsed through an Oriental Trading magazine and tossed it up in the passenger seat–he was bored. Nothing new there. I was busy…really busy…I was texting! He wanted to play I SPY.

We played a few rounds. It’s easy to guess when I follow his eyes to the object. I make things harder for him. I look at the object, look around, and then say, “I spy with my little eye…” Real Life is hard…why should I indulge him now–make him think things are going to always be a piece a cake. We don’t always get the right answer. We don’t always get what we ask for. Okay, so mostly I just enjoy irritating him, but I like to think I’m giving him good life lessons. When he’s grown–that’s what I’m going to tell him. “I was just preparing you for life, son…and…you’re welcome!”

I looked over after several more rounds. I was sick of playing and Bailey was about to make her way into the van and I needed to mentally prepare for tween drama…oh for the love! Someone was devastated, hacked off, disappointed, revved up, or tortured emotionally…as everyday but I’m glad to hear it, because telling me EVERYTHING is better than telling me ZILCH!

Anyway, I glance over at a white car and say my thing, “I spy with my little eye something white.”

Myles throws out a few guesses and just as I take a big swig of my diet A&W he says in a very somber tone, “Is it that jacked up car right there?”

Root beer flies out my nose and mouth and I go into a convulsing coughing spell, laughing hysterically. “Yes,” cough, sputter, cough. “It is actually.”

The car next to us had what I like to call “rubbing” marks all down it. Like a scuffed shoe mark on white tile. Lots of scuff marks to be exact. I hadn’t noticed it really when I was picking a white object. I just saw white.

Myles saw all the marks and scuffs.

I got home and after the burning in my nose stopped, I sat down and it hit me…I’m so glad and amazed that God doesn’t see me the way Myles saw that car. I have more scuffs and scratches than I can count. I’m betting you do too. Sometimes, that’s all I see in myself.

God doesn’t.

“You are all fair my love and there is no spot in you.” Song of Solomon 4:7

Not convinced?

“And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight…” Colossians 1:21-22

I’m thankful that He doesn’t see me as I do. He sees me as He’s called me to be. Holy. Spotless. Blameless. That’s comforting. That’s mind-boggling. But it’s who I am.

It’s who you are too!

So with that in mind, what are you doing here?

Get Your Grubby Paws Off!!

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

I’ve had a headache for the last week. I have some big decisions to make and I want to be sure that I’m making the right ones. I suppose you’ve been in the same boat. The question lately is, “Do I?” or “Do I not?”

I’ve walked around like a zombie–looking folks in the eye and not hearing a word they’re saying, doing day to day activities on autopilot but inside I’ve felt like a caged animal. Desperate to kick the door open and make my way out. That trapped urgent feeling to DO SOMETHING!!!!!!

“God, should I?”  Feet tap. Hands strum on the table. Bottom lip becomes gnawed. “Well? Help me! What do I do? I’m so confused and I’m freaking out.” Deep breaths. More deep breaths.

No answer.

The more I read what others are doing the worse off I become. The more I doubt. The further away I feel.  “They say this….they say that….”

I’ve worked myself into a frenzy and the dull thump behind my eyes has exploded into a full blown migraine!

My friends’ opinions are split right down the middle–thanks for no help at all! 🙂

I came home this afternoon and decided to browse some old articles I’d placed in my church’s newsletters ages ago. What I came across was old “Patch Packets” I had written for the young adult Sunday school class I taught before we quit having Sunday School. I would write a week worth of bible study for them and then on Sunday hand out a new one. They became labeled as “Patch Packets.” I really loved doing them!

I clicked on one of them randomly, not searching for anything in particular and this is what I opened it up to. My writing. From at least two years ago.

“It is crucial to BELIEVE. We must believe the promises given to us by the Lord–the promises of His word and personal promises He places in our hearts. God accounted Abraham’s belief to him as righteousness (right standing with God). He believed. Belief is FAITH.

Abraham didn’t have to DO any works to earn the promise, he didn’t have to be good enough or act in any certain way FIRST. He simply had to believe that God would do exactly what He said He would do. Read Romans 4:20-22.

If God promises, believe He is ABLE to perform it!

Sometimes we believe God, but after a period of time we begin to question or doubt what He said or if He’s ever going to come through for us. Sometimes we may still be hanging on a thread of belief and someone else’s doubt–someone close to us– can pull us off the dangling rope of faith in His promises. That’s what happened to Abraham, when Sarah began to doubt.  Read Genesis 16: 1-2.

Sarah is not waiting on God, she’s taking matters into her own hands and because there has been a long period of time to wait, Abraham allows his wife to talk him into doing something he shouldn’t!

Remember, we can’t speed God’s timing along. He is long suffering. He expects us to develop this characteristic as well. When we take matters into our own hands, we can birth things in our lives that shouldn’t have been birthed. Just like Abraham. He had a son with his servant Hagar. Look what kind of man Ishmael was to become. Genesis 16:12″

The minute I read this, I knew my answer. The desperate feeling of making something happen slowly slipped away and I felt like I could breathe again. I’m mostly writing this blog today because I want to be able to revisit it when the creepy-crawler feeling comes back. I need the reminder that it doesn’t always matter what “they” say. The bottom line is…”What does God say?”

I’m not going to do nothing. I’m praying, preparing, and planning. I’m going to do what He told me to begin with and nothing more. I’m not going to get worked up when I see what everyone else is doing. I’m going to believe and trust God to perform His promises.

What about you? Are you trying to accomplish God’s purposes in your own timing? With your own hands? Ecc. 3:1 A time and purpose for everything….

Take a breath…take a Tylenol…and get your grubby paws off God’s timing! (and I will too!…well, I’m taking Aleve but…)
Oh, and if you see me with a glazed look in my eyes, snap your fingers in my face and say, “Hey, you ain’t no Sarah! Focus!”

If you like to read…get ready for this!

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

I had an amazing trip to Chicago, though I nearly got blown to Kingdom come! The OneRepublic/Maroon 5 concert was great! We were also quite entertained by the couple below us! I’ll refrain from blogging about that. Besides, you had to see it to believe it!

I got home late and my liBERRY book was in. (Yeah, I said liberry like my son!) I chose to read the first book in the Kanner Lake series by Brandilyn Collins. She’s the “seat belt suspense” writer and I gotta say, it fits her perfectly! The first book in the series was called Violet Dawn and it was excellent! I was on the edge of my seat (no seatbelt, so I nearly fell out) the whole time. She swept me in immediately and I could feel everything that the main character–Paige was going through and feeling. It’s Christian Suspense but if you like Dean Koontz, I think you’ll like her because her description is much like his…off the chart! She had a nice twist to it as well, for those of you who like surprise. Generally, I can guess what’s coming but I never guessed this one! Bravo, Ms. Collins!

I’m now in bed listening to Tim rant about his 200 emails from being on vacation…also amusing…Myles spent the last thirty minutes staring at his candy until I checked every single piece because his assistant teacher decided to tell the entire 1st grade class about a little girl who ate a piece of candy laced with a sewing needle and she swallowed it. (Thanks for turning a night of friendly fun into a horror flick, Miss I won’t say your name!) Sigh…

I don’t know if you do the church alternative, trunk or treat, or trick or treat. We did all 3! I knew the houses we trick or treated at and I’m trusting God that sweet little granny Mae at XXX Church didn’t lace my kid’s candy with her sewing needle. After all, won’t she need it Monday morning to knit her great grandkids a horrid Christmas sweater???? Who knows!
My point…read Violet Dawn and eat your kid’s candy in the name of keeping him/her safe! Have a great Monday, ya’ll!

Moments with Myles: Pull the Stick and Get Over It!

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

Yesterday, I was having a conversation with Myles about his classroom management system. When he gets warned he has to pull a “light stick”…green means one warning but a good day, yellow means two warnings…red is big trouble! Myles gets green a lot and sometimes yellow. (He’s a talker…shocker!)

I asked him what do the kids in his class do when they pull their sticks? His reply, “They cry all day.”

“Do you cry when you have to pull your stick?”

He looked at me as though I was crazy as he said, “No, I just pull it and pretend I didn’t.”

My mom and I laughed at his remark but this morning I was thinking about it and it dawned on me he wasn’t ignoring the fact that he got in trouble and had to deal with the consequence of pulling his stick, which included coming home for mom and dad to see it and deal with it…he was moving on with the rest of his day.

He messed up. He accepted it. He dealt with it and he moved forward.

I think we could take a lesson from his attitude. We’re going to make mistakes and mess up and there’s nothing wrong with crying over mess ups and sins in our lives. Godly sorrow leads to repentance…but if we cry about it all day long how are we going to focus on what’s ahead? There are still things that we have to get done. If we continue to boo hoo over missing the mark then how can we hear the Teacher when He gives us our next assignment and He will give us more assignments! Our behavior might be unbecoming, but His blood covers it when we ask forgiveness and MEAN it…then He forgets–tosses it out as though it never happened and He moves on with us. The question is–can we move on?

Mourn it–pull the stick, face the consequences knowing that the Father disciplines those He loves and then suck it up and pay attention for the next lesson of the day. Who knows, maybe tomorrow you’ll get a happy face!  Myles rarely gets them, I rarely do too…I think his teacher and mine are just being gracious!

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

Today I’m off to IL with my BFF. We’re going to my mom’s. The first time we went together, we got to babbling and four hours later I finally looked up and realized my surroundings were unfamiliar.

“Heather, I don’t recognize any of these buildings…something’s wrong.”

Heather shrugged, “Huh…”

Turned out…we veered left instead of right and ended up in Little Rock instead of Illinois!  We had to back track and what should have been a 4 hour trip, turned out to be 8! I gotta say, I was pretty upset. Even Heather’s animal noises and silly songs to make me laugh were slightly irksome…all that time lost! But after I succumbed to the fact there was no way to make it up…I enjoyed the rest of the ride.

I suppose we veer off spiritually…we stop paying attention and end up way off course! It’s frustrating and irritating when you “come to” and see how far you’ve gone. Suck it up…make the best of it…let God get you where you’re supposed to be going! He makes crooked paths straight!

Today however, Heather and I will be paying attention…and I’m sure several friends will text us to remind us…veer right, freaks!!! 😉

I’m directionally challenged in so many ways! Have a great weekend!!!

Oh, It’s a Fine Line, Honey!

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

“Wait upon the Lord…”

There is a fine line between waiting and doing nothing. Sometimes waiting feels like doing nothing. Lately, that’s what my life has looked like. (to me anyway) When I’m in a period of waiting, I start out patiently and then as time creeps by…I start getting that panicky-caged-desperate feeling. Anyone relate?

I’m still trusting God, believing His promises and reciting my mantra–well scripture that has become my mantra…whatever, you get my point– “You are my exceedingly great reward.” I say it over and over. I take that from Abraham, you know. God told him that no matter what the great promise he was given, HE was the exceedingly great reward. I take comfort in that and it keeps my focus where it belongs–not on the good things He’s promised into my life but on Him. No matter what, He’s better than all the icing on the cake.

God is so great in the fact that His knowledge of each of us is thorough. And as the craziness starts up in me, thinking I have to do more…He reminds me in super ways that I’ve done what He’s asked me to do. I’m not doing NOTHING…I’m working–relentlessly and waiting at the same time. However, I’m in the stage where I’m not being patient as I wait and that’s what sets me off into the ‘trapped’ feelings. That’s also where I get myself into trouble! I can’t make things happen and neither can you. I mean I can (maybe)–we can, but it’s all about perfect timing and being in the center of God’s will. That’s where I want to be most. Smack dab in the center, permeated by all the treats that wouldn’t be there if I was in the center of my own will.

A BFF of mine told me one morning when I was wigging out to her, that God showed her us. We were trees planted by waters and ripe fruit was hanging from us…she said, “God isn’t going to let it hang there and rot. It’s there for people to come and pick. We just have to be patient.”

I vent all this and make you wade through the paragraphs to simply ask you a question and encourage you. Has God spoken something into your life and you’ve been working toward it but haven’t seen the fruition yet? Are you feeling like you’re barely hanging on…feeling edgy…desperate to make something happen? Are you wondering if you’re waiting or doing nothing?

Take heart, when God makes a promise, when He sets something in motion–it will happen. Keep working toward what He’s asked you to do. Maybe that means studying more, making time to work on what it is He’s asked you to do. Dropping some worthless junk. I don’t know what it will look like, but I do know He never disappoints. Never deceives and He accomplishes everything He purposes.

How long? Who knows? I’ve been waiting for seven, but serious about it for over two so…
I guess you and I will wait together. Keep believing. Don’t give up. God will keep confirming your dreams and promises to you. He has for me…in some seriously crazy ways, but I’m a crazy person!

And above all else  “…the word of the Lord came…do not be afraid…I am your shield and your exceedingly great reward.” Genesis 15:1 NKJV

Now That’s Hardcore…

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

A dear friend sent me a couple of books for my birthday from the Voice of Martyrs. She knows my heart for the people of India, so I was elated when I opened them up. I want to share an excerpt from “Restricted Nations–INDIA” by the Voice of the Martyrs with Riley K. Smith.

This is a pledge that graduates from Emmanuel Theological Seminary and Bible College in Kota, Rajasthan make publicly.
“I stand with the apostle Paul in stating that, ‘for me to live is Christ and to die is gain’.

I take a stand to honor the Lord Jesus Christ with my hands to serve all mankind.

I take a stand to honor the Lord Jesus Christ with my feet to spread the gospel to all the ends of the earth no matter what the cost.

I take a stand to honor the Lord Jesus Christ with my lips by proclaiming the Good News to all who hear and by edifying the Body of Christ.

I take a stand to honor the Lord Jesus Christ with my mind as I meditate upon His Word and His promises to me.

I give my earthly treasures and all that I possess to follow the way of the cross.

I commit to love my family, orphans, widows, lepers, the wealthy and the poor the way that Christ loved the church.

I surrender my will and life to His will and life.

I commit to the service of the Lord by being a good steward of my time.

I surrender this body on earth to the perfect will of Jesus, and should my blood be spilled may it bring forth a mighty harvest of souls.

I pledge allegiance to the Lamb. I will seek to honor His command. I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone who believes.

Lord Jesus, Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

I love my India and my fellow citizens, and I claim India for Christ.”

After that ceremony, one of the graduates returned to his village. They tied old shoes around his neck and led him down the streets then forced him to drink cow urine and they beat him. Yet, what they had hoped for…the gospel to be shut down…wasn’t what happened. Hundreds who watched the spectacle came to Christ.

Truth is, you and I need to repent. What we consider persecution is rather pathetic, when’s the last time we’ve been beaten and forced to drink cow urine?!

I pray that this will come back to you and to me, when we feel the day can’t get much crummier. I pray that you and I will be bold enough to say this pledge and claim America for Christ. These Indians knew it wasn’t just lip service that day when they stood publicly and stated these strong words. Can we?…and truly mean it…

Moments with Myles

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

I know many of you wonder if my six year old son really says some of these things I generally post on fb. The answer is yes. If you’re a close friend, you can testify–as you’ve heard it yourself and sometimes if my phone is nearby and it’s a full blown conversation, I record it as proof. Here’s a run down of our afternoon.

It was 50’s day today, as they celebrated their 50th day of school. Here’s the dialogue:
“So, Myles, was anyone else dressed for 50’s day besides you?”

“No, well…yes, just one other boy.”

“What’s his name?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’ve been at school for 50 days! How can you not know his name?”

He looks at me with a somber face and then he does that smirk many of you have seen, “Well, it’s like this, mom…I just don’t care.”

I try not to laugh, “What do you mean you don’t care? How can you not care?”

He shrugs indifferently, “If he falls, I can say…’hey, you okay, pal.’ Pal works just as good as his name and I showed I cared.”

How do you argue with that!?

During homework this evening:
“Mom, I didn’t have time to wait on you to finish jogging, so I cheated on my spelling–but I’m done.”

The spelling words are on the side of the sheet and I’m supposed to cover them up and read them to him. “Myles, cheating is wrong.”

“Yeah, but it’s also fast.”

We did redo the paper and he protested the entire time. We can learn a good lesson. Cheating is fast, but integrity is more important! Myles doesn’t think so…but one day…maybe it’ll take!!