Spring Break! Already?


I can’t believe it’s already spring break time around here. Seems nuts that March has finally made its way to us. 

I love spring. Daffodils. Easter. Warm winds. Hammocks when they don’t break on you. Sunshine. Parks. Picnics. Bike rides. Long walks without frost bite. Rain. Tulips. 

I love it all. 

And next week, my husband and I have taken the entire week off to spend it with our kids. So I’ll be on a blogging break. 

But I’ll be back.

Yes, I said that Terminator style. Really I didn’t, but when I proofed this, I did. 

What do you love about spring? 

A Most Bizarre Monday

For the last eight maybe ten months, I’ve had major neck, shoulder, and back problems. Bad posture, hunching over a computer screen, lack of consistent exercise…

Then I got carpal tunnel in both hands. Seriously? I’m a writer. This isn’t going to fly.

So, a few friends at church told me about this Christian lady who does massage therapy and works wonders. 


I showed up at her place, filled out the form and a few minutes later, I’m in my birthday suit, nose to the ceiling, ready for healing. 

It’s dark, music is lightly playing in the background. She knocks. Enters. Feels around on my neck and head.

My eyes are closed. Now, I know going into this, I’m not going to be comfortable. That’s not what this massage is for. I’ve had full body massages before. This one is for working out the pain. 

I heard a glove snap.

She’s going to massage me with gloves on? That’s….different.

She stepped up to me and said, “Now I want you to open your mouth wide.”

My first thought: “Shut the front door! You want me to what?!”

Instead, I said (in a shaky voice), “Ok…” 

Do I actually say AAAAAH? Or just open wide? 

I opened wide, and she put her gloved finger along the inside of my jaw. “Now clench your teeth together and when I say ‘inhale’ open your mouth wide…inhale like a yawn or like you’re afraid.”

Oh act afraid? Honey, that won’t be hard.

“While your mouth is open wiggle your jaw, then when I say drop, relax it. Ready?”

Not so much.

But…I did it. I did it a lot. And apparently the muscles were really jammed. After an hour of her working my neck, back and yes, my mouth, I felt better than I have in months! I actually cried because I had forgotten what it was like to NOT hurt.

She also could tell I had a bunch of earaches as a child and then she put her finger in my ear and another finger in my mouth and made me do the scared-jaw-wiggle thingy. Guess what? Something ran out of my ear. At first I thought, “OMG, she’s punctured my eardrum. My ear is bleeding. My. ear. is. bleeding.

But it wasn’t.

And I feel so much better! On top of all that, she prayed with me throughout the session, which was cool and yes I marked I wanted prayer on the sheet. Who wouldn’t want prayer when it’s offered? Okay, probably lots of people, but whatever.

I also got a major buzz from sucking in so much O2. Imagine sucking in lungfuls of air like you’re terrified, wiggling your jaw, shooting your arms in the air all at these commands. Raise up, inhale, wiggle wiggle wiggle, exhale, drop. Gooood. Inhale…push up…push, wiggle, exhale, relax.

It was like Zumba for my mouth. 

After I left there, I went to the tanning bed (don’t judge) and when I came out the little girl working the counter– and I say little girl because when you wear hot pink bands on your braces, you’re a little girl--asked, “Was that floor in there dirty to you?” 

“What?!” Please tell me that bed was clean. And for the love, why don’t you just look for yourself and not freak out a customer.

“Like, I mean was it…dirty?” She was an ace at description/imagery.

I stared at her a moment, the silver and pink mouth flashing like a bar sign. “Well… it didn’t shout lewd remarks at me while I tanned.” 

She kinda grinned, not sure if I was serious or horsing around with her. Which is how I like it.

“Do you mean like stains (sweet mother!) or like lint or paper?” Because dirty can mean many things. 

“Just dirty.” Oh well, that cleared everything up.

“I think I’d notice if the floor was really filthy. Pretty sure you’re safe.” I’m not sure I had been.

“Sweet.” She beamed, cocked her head to the side and looked proud of herself. Though, I’m not sure what she was proud of? Hiding dirt? Slushy stains? Who knows!

“Yeah…sweet.” I’m sure when Spring Break is over, which is today, I’ll see the usual woman again. Only downside, I’ll be stuck listening to country music. If I wanted to hear about bars, booze, trucks, and fishing, I wouldn’t have went to the tanning bed. I’d have taken a trip to Sportsmen’s Wearhouse and eavesdropped, or called my brother. The girl did play some nice tunes. 

Then I went to work and put my foot in my mouth, but that isn’t bizarre. That’s typical.

Crazy kick-off to my Spring Break week. But I felt good. And I didn’t get any infections or rashes from the tanning bed, so…

Do you like massages–the relaxing kind? Any weird experiences?Have a great weekend, friends! 

The Perfect Spring Break


My kids are on Spring Break this week! We’re already packed, the kids have cleaned their rooms and made their beds–Myles’ isn’t perfect, but he’s 7. They’ve already made a list of the games they’ll play in the car since it’s a long drive to the beach. It’s going to be lovely and peaceful. Myles has figured out what kind of castle he plans to build, Bailey is more of a water girl, so she says she’ll spend most of the time jumping waves. The sea air, sand between our toes. We’ll have the family photo on the beach….

Needles scratching across the record…Now! ZZZZZZZZPPPPPP.

We’re not going anywhere, and if my kids made their bed without being told, we’d definitely not spend Spring Break at the beach because we’d spend it in the ER, while they checked me out for possible cardiac arrest. But we have plans to do some fun things locally,and we love board games, so I see a few nights of Battleship (which I hate), Apples to Apples, and my favorite board game of all time…Clue. I rock that game.

I’m sure we’ll bowl, dance, and hunt on the Wii. I’m really looking forward to the week. We’ll hit the zoo with their new dinosaur exhibit and camel rides. And we’ll probably spend a day at Incredible Pizza. 

Needles scratching across the record…Now! ZZZZZZZZPPPPPP.

Oh wait…my daughter has hit 13. Let me back up. This week, I’ll be chauffeuring her to and from Youth events, slumber parties, movies, and wondering why I let her leave the house when I see her room looks like an episode of Hoarders. 

And my son will hole up in his bedroom with his 3DS, until we hit the zoo and Incredible Pizza because he’s ticked I win all the Wii and board games. Life it tough. I never give the game away. He can work hard and win… or lose. Mostly he loses and pouts. I bet there’s a life lesson there.


So that’s what our break will look like! And for the love do NOT google “spring break” because you won’t get family pictures. 

In a perfect world, this is what I’d like to be doing. And don’t judge me because my kids and hubby aren’t involved–they’re at slumber parties and holed up in bedrooms that smell like wet dogs and old milk and he’s at work.


Do your family vacations or breaks ever turn out the way you dream them up? 

*I’ll probably be scarce this week since I’ll be lying in the grass reading i.e. dragging unhappy kids to exhibits they care nothing about…but I’ll try to pop in and say hi!