Good morning everyone! It’s Wednesday. Profound observation, I know. Before I jump in the waters of the Word, I have taken the plunge into the facebook currents and created a Writer Page. I’d love for you to take a second and click HERE, to “like” my page.
This has been a crazy two weeks for me. Inside. I’ve noticed relationships falling away and no way to stop it. I have those days where I barely like my husband, my feelings for my kids are on the fence.
I keep wondering, what is going on? Am I hormonal? I cry at most everything. You should have seen me at Potter as I blubbered, “Snape! Poor Snape!” Ridiculous.
And deep within me, I know what’s really wrong.
I ignore it. I pass it off as lazy summer days. I should be relaxing and sleeping in, which is 7 ish for me.
I crack open my Bible. I read a devotion from the Word for you Today. I try to ignore what it says. I stare at a Psalm. My mind wanders. I hear my Twitter chime go off. I check it. Laugh. Send a response. My son wakes up and I fix him a pancake, or toss him a bag of cookies. What? I said it was one of those weeks, didn’t I?
The day moves on.
And during that moving day, God uses more words. He uses them to add to what I already know.
I get to work, before 8, so I read the MBT Ponderers blog. Different Levels, Different Devils.
“Have you ever wondered why things seem to get harder the closer you get to success?” Ginger Takamiya writes.
She begins to give examples, and some of them are as if she’s been stalking my life. A lightbulb goes off. It’s more than what I already know deep inside.
Not just in my writing ministry/career, but I’m about to launch a new life group at church. I’m excited about the limitless possibities of it. A bookclub may sound silly to some, but I know fiction can be used as a powerful tool to open blinded eyes, be used as a tool by God to rub balm on festering wounds, and encourage a reader. Who knows what book will be the one to help free someone from a lie they tell themselves every day!
I read my devotional and God speaks through the pages.
“People will leave you. It may be that you’ve outgrown them, or to fulfill their own vision, or because they don’t want to go where God is taking you. People left Jesus.”
“Satan will attack you…it lets you know you’re valuable to God. It also dictates the level of blessing that awaits you beyond the attack. Satan will attack when God is about to birth something in your life. It may be the birth of a relationship, a career, a ministry…”
Here is what I already know deep within.
1. I have not been giving God quality time in the last couple weeks (and I know better). Reading a devotion, even when it speaks to me isn’t enough. For me. I need to steep in His presence, study until I find a treasure, worship. I need more than 30 minutes. I don’t need a shower, I need a long, warm bath.
I’ve been in a rotten funk, the lack of daily renewal has made me stagnant. I’m dirty flesh. I see it in my attitude, hear it in my impatient tones, taste it on my biting tongue.
I know I need to dig in, but I just don’t want to.
Then yesterday, I read Jaime Wright’s blog. I love Jaime and her blog. She talks about having a horrible week, feeling blah. Same as me, yet we didn’t share that as we bantered sarcastically on twitter one morning.
As I read what God said to her, He said the same thing to me. I didn’t get offended. He was right. Read her blog if you want to know what He said!
Things are changing. Friendships are taking on a different shape, and yes it’s sad. God is preparing me to get ready for that. To get ready for this new life group, gear up for my husband’s mission trip to Thailand, my daughter has to go back to public school, where she shares her faith openly, and maybe my writing is about to move forward. I’m not sure.
God prepares us without always giving us the detailed 411.
Maybe this is you, too. Maybe you need to take the enemy by the horns and give him a good shaking. I know I do. And that means putting on my garments of praise, and spending more than a few seconds with God. It means pressing in, even when you don’t feel like it.
Refuse to let him win. Refuse to be complacent. “Be sober and vigilant, knowing your enemy prowls around like a roaming lion, seeking who he may devour.” 1 Peter 5:8
We’ll do it together.
Question for you: What’s your last hoo-rah before summer ends?