Tag: January 6th

Really!?!

Posted on by Jessica R. Patch

Today is January 6th. First and foremost it is the birthday of the woman who brought me forth. I.E…my mom’s birthday. So, Happy Birthday, Mom. Thanks for letting me cut my teeth on soap operas. Really? Just kidding. It paid off. Really.

Shush, everyone, it’s my mom’s birthday. Make her feel nice.

So here we go, ladies and gents!

On January 6th, 1994, Nancy Kerrigan took a hit to the knee, thanks to the original mean girl Tonya Harding. 

Really? Couldn’t Tonya just skate better, drop out, or hire men to bust out her knee? Thus getting the ooohs and aaahs from fans all over the world. It’s called positive attention, Tonya. Really.

On January 6th, 2011, the Romanian government reformed its tax policy, sticking it–for the first time ever– to occupational fortune-tellers, astrologers, and witches. Some of the witches were so outraged, they threatened to curse the government. Curse it I say!

Really? For the love, witches, you’re being recognized as legit. Pay the taxes. You can now write off your brooms, eye of newt, tarot cards, and white sheets for solstice dancing. Really.

And by the way, do witches pay taxes in America? Probably just the middle class ones.

And

On January 6th, 1681, the first boxing match was recorded. Starring the Duke of Albemarle’s butler vs. the butcher. I’d like to tell you these were their boxing names like the Italian Stallion. But I can’t. 

Really? Fighting employees? Shouldn’t they be butlering and butchering? It’s like fighting your pets. But then look at him. What else does he have going for him? Really.

Have a great weekend! Stop in Monday and meet my good friend and talented writer, Heather Sunseri!

What blows your mind enough to say, “Really?” 
(Do not say this blog post. ;))