Lost On My Own Street. Literally.

Bailey…need I say more?

You hope it won’t happen, but when it does  you’re faced with the reality that life will never be the same again. First, an anvil smacks your chest, then a quarter-sized knot forms in the back of your throat and flashes of horrible places materialize in your mind. You bite your lip and try to figure out a way to keep it from happening.

That’s right. The moment you realize your daughter is as directionally challenged as you are. 
Here’s how it all began…
The party foods were purchased. My house was clean and candles burning. The wood was stacked by the fire pit and I had decided to let my daughter and her friend go outside and down the street.
Let me be clear. I never let my daughter wander around the sub-division. The fact that she’s out of my sight freaks me out a little. But she just turned 13 so when she asked if they could go across the street, I thought she meant down to the stop sign and back or hanging out in front of the house.
I went on about my business. Other friends were about to arrive along with one of my BFF’s “Jane.” I texted my daughter.
“Come home. Em is going to be here soon.”
“Yes, ma’am.” 
10 minutes went by.
“B, come home!”
“Yes, ma’am.”
What I found later that happened in these moments between texts was this:
Bailey calls “Jane.”  
“Jane, can you tell me if Pintail and Windsor is close to my house?”
“Why? Where are you? Is your mom lost again?”
“Um, no, but I am.”
“Where are you?” Jane asks.
“I don’t know! That’s why I’m calling you!”
“Call your mom. I’m on the way there now. I don’t know where Pintail or Windsor is.”
Not wanting to call her mother, Bailey and her friend wander aimlessly until she spotted a man and his friend in their yard. She took another look and realized he was a teacher at her school, but not one of hers, so she walked up and asked, “Could you help me?”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“I can’t find my house.” OMG Seriously? She’s 13! I’m pretty sure I died a little when I heard this.
I can only imagine his face or thoughts at this point. “What’s your address?”
She tells him. 
“Oh, sweetie, you’re way off.” He proceeded to give her directions and apparently she took one turn more than she should. Finally she decided to call when she got this message.
“If you don’t get home ASAP, I so will ground you on your birthday and take back all your presents. Try me. I dare you.” 
My phone rang. “Mom…uh…where’s our house?”
It took a second for her words to register. 
“I’m at Pintail and Windsor.” Which she didn’t even pronounce right. It’s not Windsoar. It’s windzer. And I wasn’t exactly sure. 
“Please tell me you aren’t lost in our subdivision? Really, Bailey? I can’t leave! Guests are coming!”
“Miss Jane doesn’t know. I tried her first.” 
“Are you facing the sun or not?”
“I am now. But when I turn around I’m not.” OMG! 
“I guess I’ll have to call Cheryl and tell her to go on in the house, hopefully she’ll get here before a robber since I have to leave it unlocked. Don’t move.”
I called Cheryl. “How far are you away?”
“Oh not far.”
I explained I let my daughter and another child wander off and get lost. I’m sure she was feeling confident about leaving her granddaughter. She laughed. I didn’t miss the slight shake in it. I hung up and started looking at road signs. 
Two minutes later, they were standing on the corner (God help us not that kind of corner) waving at me like a couple of complete goofs. They were literally straight down the street.
I get to the house before Cheryl and then Jane drives up. “Where were they?”
“Down the street. Literally.”
She laughs. “Like mother like daughter.” And I remember when Jane and I got lost going back home to IL. We went 4 hours out of the way before I realized it. Yeah, I blogged about it.
Will I ever let Bailey get her license when she can’t even get herself home in our subdivision? I don’t wanna, but how long until I absolutely have to cut the apron strings? 
Her defense: “Mom, if you ever let me hang out in the subdivision I’d know my way.”
But maybe not if she really is like me. 
Do you see the terrifying things about yourself in your kids?
Ever see a hint of your parents in you? 
By the way, Jane and I did survive the party thanks to locks on doors and tons of TIVO’d shows and my laptop. Starting the bonfire was interesting to say the least. I’ll have to buy more lighter fluid…

18 thoughts on “Lost On My Own Street. Literally.

  1. I'm completely directionally challenged. Completely. You are not alone!

    My 3 year old son has an insane sense of direction though. He always knows where we are and what's around us. It also weirds me out just a little!

  2. Yep, me here too…thank the Lord they've added compasses in cars. Before that Hubby always tried to remind me to "head toward the lake", then he'd hold up his hand (we're Michiganders) and try to remind me where we were in proximity to that.

  3. So funny !I love your posts! Well I must admit that I now rent in a subdivision for the past six weeks. I have a great sense of direction but not in one of these places where every other house is the same, Last night I told my husband I would drive home from getting subs, and I took off and I saw his arm wave as we passed a subdivision–ours–duh, and I didn't turn there. I took the next road in and had to hope I could find our house, If it wasn't for a wildly painted car that parks near the mailboxes I'd still be driving.

  4. Too. Funny!

    You should buy her a Garmin to carry around with her. Or get a GPS app on her phone. hehehe…

    I'm actually pretty okay with directions out on the road. But inside big buildings – particularly hospitals – I ALWAYS get turned around. Did I wander around Mercy Medical Center in Des Moines once for FORTY-FIVE MINUTES just trying to find an exit? Yes, yes I did.

    Glad the party was fun!

  5. Oh, man, my son is just like me, and my daughter is so much like my husband. And yes, I do see parental traits coming out in me, but I ignore/deny them. 😀

  6. I loved the answer about the sun, also.

    When I was ten my mother, grandmother, sister and I were left to tour Manhattan while my dad attended a Kiwanis convention. I had to tell them what subways to get on, when to get off, etc. Mother could get lost in her own backyard.

  7. I don't know WHERE Anna Marie gets her propensity to correct people over the slightest things…really I don't…

    Actually, she has WAY more of her dad in her than I do! What's terrifying is how she emulates behavior of his that she's never seen – it must be in the genes!

  8. Hello everyone! It's so nice to see I'm not alone in trying to find my way around!

    I'm cracking up at some of your comments! 🙂

  9. Hi, Jessica! I awarded you the Tell Me About Yourself blog award. I'll be posting about it tomorrow. No pressure to participate, though 🙂

  10. Very funny story. I loved "Are you facing the sun or not?"

    I do see my mom in myself at times…sometimes I can't believe what I hear myself saying to the kids. Ugh!

  11. A dog. Get her a dog. Let/make her walk the dog. It will help her learn the neighborhood and if she still gets lost, the dog will more than likely know the way home.

  12. If I've been there once, I can usually get there again. True with so much in life.

    And isn't it freaky when you see your own quirks in your kiddos? Happens all the time around here.
    ~ Wendy

  13. Ha! That's awesome, although I'm sure you're disagreeing with me right now. 🙂 I'm one of those weird females who has a good sense of direction (usually better than my husbands, but shhh, that's our little secret). 🙂

  14. Okay, I don't have a comment other than Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha…

  15. I laughed out loud when you asked if she was facing the sun. LOL!!

    I see a lot of my hubby's qualities in my daughter–which is good. She doesn't want my problems. 🙂

    I do see my mom in me now that I'm getting older. My hubby sees it too and now he's scared. LOL

  16. I am sooo glad to see I'm not the only one who is directionally challenged! Been that way my entire life. I hate driving to new places. If fact, I had my hubby take me out on a Sunday afternoon to find the easiest route to a new meeting place for my writers' group.

    I hope I make it there! I'll be driving in the dark–yikes!

  17. I can be dropped off in the middle of a country I have never been to before, have a general sense of the direction of the place I want to go to and drive straight to it. I don't know how I do it, it's a gift.

    My daughter, however, has the directionally challenged problem. She could get lost in an elevator. I have many times heard her utter the phrase, "I've never been here before. Where are we?" I answer, "Are you serious? This is the way to your school. We have literally been down this street hundreds of times>" She then rolls her eyes and says, "Well, I've never seen it."

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