I enjoy spending my time asking friends to tell me all the bad things about myself. I thrive on it really.
Said no one ever.
Someone I love once a hundred times told me, “You don’t listen. You’re the most hardheaded person I’ve ever met.”
Ask me how that went over.
Not. Well.
Pretty sure my insides heated to 950 billion degrees and my reaction came in fiery breaths and words. Because when you’ve been struck with the arrow of a hard truth, the initial response is to fire back with whatever the enemy has poisoned and placed in your quiver.
Hearing hard truths from loved ones…hurts. It raises our defenses. It can get nasty.
This is one of my husband’s favorite verses (ESV). Maybe because it gives license to call someone stupid (just kidding).
Correction, discipline is necessary to grow as a human being. To grow spiritually. But it’s hard to hear. Hard to take. “For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.” Proverbs 3:12 NLT
If we don’t listen and examine ourselves–if we don’t let God examine our hearts and reveal to us the hard truths, we’ll continue to repeat the same mistakes. And repeating the same thing hoping for new endings is the definition of insanity. Let’s not be stupid and insane. 🙂
Lately, I’ve been advising a loved one about relationships. But this person doesn’t want to hear the hard truths, and it’s going to cause yet another downfall. It’s frustrating to watch. It’s painful to endure. This person will not see they might have some behaviors they need to change. Some issues in their heart that needs refining and softened. And this person refuses to step back and let words of wisdom reign.
And while ranting to the Lord about this, He reminded me that I haven’t dealt with all of the hard truths I’ve been given. I don’t want to see I might have some behaviors I need to change. Some issues in my heart that needs refining and softened. And I’ve refused to step back and let the words of wisdom reign.
I handle the hard stuff much better when it comes from God–straight to my spirit. I guess I don’t like flawed people pointing out my own. Maybe it’s the plank and speck scenario. Maybe I’m just prideful. Probably a bit of both. Maybe you are too? And sometimes, even when I do listen to God’s conviction upon my heart, I don’t always follow through. But I want to. How about you?
Forward Challenge: If you know you’ve been given a hard truth and you handled it badly, ask God and the person who delivered it in love for forgiveness, then commit to working on that truth. God is gracious and merciful and He’s the Potter! He can transform us inside out. If you have to deliver a hard truth, pray thoroughly, then make sure you’re going in love. Season your words with grace. And trust God to handle the rest.
Forward Scripture and Prayer:
How are you at handling hard truths?
Hard truths are hard to receive, but “faithful are the wounds of a friend” according to Proverbs 27:6. It’s something I have to pray about, because only God can show me the difference between whether it’s just criticism or something God is trying to get me to change.
This is so true, Becky! I was just quoting this scripture the other day and talking about choosing friends wisely to someone I love dearly. Thank you for sharing this!
I like to think of myself as of “above-average” intelligence.
I remember everything I read. New knowledge seems to come easier to me than other people. I can recall the things I know with little difficulty which makes it easy to be able to cite statistics or present valid arguments for whatever I may be discussing. I don’t know why, it’s just how my brain is wired.
This trait has often led me to be rather arrogant at times. Especially if I am conversing with someone who does not have an actual understanding of the topic being discussed. It has been pointed out to me and I am well aware that I occasionally do this. Although, I had to be convinced of it first.
I have a few friends who I have asked to signal me if they ever see me veering off into jerk mode so I can correct myself before going any further. It sometimes hurts to really be honest with ourselves, but it makes us a better person.
I think having good friends for accountability is smart. I am terrible at statistics!