Everyone today’s post is hilarious! They
say first impressions are everything and our lovely Nichole Parks shares hers
today and I laughed so hard, I nearly cried.
We’re talking all things spies, which as a suspense writer, I happen to
love! Take it away, Nichole.
The time
I accused my brother’s new girlfriend of being a spy was risky. I can see that
now. Back then I only knew two things about Adrian.
I accused my brother’s new girlfriend of being a spy was risky. I can see that
now. Back then I only knew two things about Adrian.
She was “nice
and sweet.” Which didn’t comfort me any. Supposedly, KP’s starter girlfriend had been nice and sweet,
and I’d hit her car. Lucky for me, the only thing bent out
of shape was my parents. They decided I bumped What’s-Her-Face’s car on
purpose.
and sweet.” Which didn’t comfort me any. Supposedly, KP’s starter girlfriend had been nice and sweet,
and I’d hit her car. Lucky for me, the only thing bent out
of shape was my parents. They decided I bumped What’s-Her-Face’s car on
purpose.
And maybe
I would have if I had thought of it.
I would have if I had thought of it.
If Adrian
was nice and sweet, she could save it for the rest of the family. I needed to get
to know her beyond two adjectives neighbors use to describe serial killers. This
is my brother’s heart we’re talking about.
was nice and sweet, she could save it for the rest of the family. I needed to get
to know her beyond two adjectives neighbors use to describe serial killers. This
is my brother’s heart we’re talking about.
After a
stilted Skype introduction thanks to my paranoid bro, I knew I’d have to take
matters into my own hands. I needed something KP couldn’t filter. But what? The
lovebirds study in Missouri and I’m nine hours north in Indiana.
stilted Skype introduction thanks to my paranoid bro, I knew I’d have to take
matters into my own hands. I needed something KP couldn’t filter. But what? The
lovebirds study in Missouri and I’m nine hours north in Indiana.
Making
good use of my online stalking skills, I pulled the university’s address. Snail
mail could sneak by KP’s defenses undetected.
good use of my online stalking skills, I pulled the university’s address. Snail
mail could sneak by KP’s defenses undetected.
The thing was: I didn’t want to scare her off. Not really.
One honest conversation. That’s all I asked. So, ahem, I penned this letter.
One honest conversation. That’s all I asked. So, ahem, I penned this letter.
Dear
Adrian (if that is your real name),
Adrian (if that is your real name),
KP
tells me you are “nice” and “sweet.” But I know your secret.
tells me you are “nice” and “sweet.” But I know your secret.
You’re
a spy. A spy on a mission to… Well, I haven’t quite figured out what your
mission at Name of University is—yet.
Regardless, I’ve read too many romantic suspense novels to mistake “nice” and
“sweet” for mere adjectives. You’re on a covert op, yes? Flying under the
radar? Eh? Eh?
a spy. A spy on a mission to… Well, I haven’t quite figured out what your
mission at Name of University is—yet.
Regardless, I’ve read too many romantic suspense novels to mistake “nice” and
“sweet” for mere adjectives. You’re on a covert op, yes? Flying under the
radar? Eh? Eh?
You
can tell me. Or don’t. A good spy never reveals her secrets.
can tell me. Or don’t. A good spy never reveals her secrets.
I
would also like to thank you. Thank you for using my brother as part of your
cover. You’re a smart girl, knowing a couple is less likely to be noticed than
a single blonde. While most sisters would worry about their brother’s safety
under such dangerous circumstances, I trust he’s in good hands. You are after
all a spy and probably following in the steps of Cody Banks.
would also like to thank you. Thank you for using my brother as part of your
cover. You’re a smart girl, knowing a couple is less likely to be noticed than
a single blonde. While most sisters would worry about their brother’s safety
under such dangerous circumstances, I trust he’s in good hands. You are after
all a spy and probably following in the steps of Cody Banks.
Before
I leave you to your “studies” or whatever stakeout you need to be staking-out,
you should know I too have secrets. Since I know yours, it’s only fair you know
mine:
I leave you to your “studies” or whatever stakeout you need to be staking-out,
you should know I too have secrets. Since I know yours, it’s only fair you know
mine:
I
have a taser. And a spikey flashlight. Please don’t take this as a threat. I
simply want to offer my weapons should they be of any assistance to you during
the stint of your mission.
have a taser. And a spikey flashlight. Please don’t take this as a threat. I
simply want to offer my weapons should they be of any assistance to you during
the stint of your mission.
Warm
regards,
regards,
Nichole
Parks
Parks
To you, dear person reading, this letter
may seem drastic, even demented—especially for a first impression… And, yeah,
you have a point, but this is girlfriend #3. Seeing as how I fender bendered What’s-Her-Face’s
car, it’s basically go big or go home at this point.
may seem drastic, even demented—especially for a first impression… And, yeah,
you have a point, but this is girlfriend #3. Seeing as how I fender bendered What’s-Her-Face’s
car, it’s basically go big or go home at this point.
Less than
a week later, Secret Agent Adrian wrote back. Confident she could trust me to
keep her information classified, she disclosed minor details regarding her
cover, assured me KP’s safety was top priority, and inquired about borrowing a
weapon or two.
a week later, Secret Agent Adrian wrote back. Confident she could trust me to
keep her information classified, she disclosed minor details regarding her
cover, assured me KP’s safety was top priority, and inquired about borrowing a
weapon or two.
Something
tells me this one’s a keeper.
tells me this one’s a keeper.
What’s
the craziest first impression you’ve made/experienced?
the craziest first impression you’ve made/experienced?
 |
| Headshot photo credit: Heidi Abbott |
Nichole Parks
majors in dark humor and dark chocolate at Taylor University. She makes her
headquarters at Zondervan Library where she works remotely as Associate Editor
of Splickety Love, blogs at
nicholeparks.com, and perfects her application for The
Bachelor.
majors in dark humor and dark chocolate at Taylor University. She makes her
headquarters at Zondervan Library where she works remotely as Associate Editor
of Splickety Love, blogs at
nicholeparks.com, and perfects her application for The
Bachelor.
Connect with Nichole:
WEBSITE:
WEBSITE:
This was so funny!! Nichole, you clearly have your brother's back! Did you lend her a weapon or two? Haha!!!
Thanks, Jill! So far Adrian's cover has remained intact, and she hasn't needed to borrow my weapons. Maybe someday… 🙂